By Jennifer Waddle, Crosswalk.com
We all need a little help once in a while, especially in our relationships. As life gets busy, and we get caught up in the whirlwind of life, it’s easy to neglect the people who matter most.
Married couples, in particular, often push the nurturing of their marriages aside, as other responsibilities crowd in. Wives neglect their husbands and husbands neglect their wives, until they find themselves in an unhappy place.
For husbands, it can be confusing as to what their wives need.
If the lines of communication are fractured, they can be left to wonder what they can do to make their wives feel loved and valued. Fortunately, at any point, you can decide to make your marriage a priority and do things to make your wife feel like the special person she is.
Here are 5 tips for making that happen:
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1. Make Your Wife Feel Loved Again
Make your wife feel loved again by recalling the deep love you had for her on your wedding day. Remind her of your commitment to love and cherish her, and determine to let her know that you still love her with the deepest kind of love this side of heaven.
Here are a few things she might appreciate hearing:
“I don’t say this often enough, but I love you more than anyone on earth.”
“My love for you has not changed. I love you just as much, or more, as I did on our wedding day.”
“Forgive me for letting the busyness of life get in the way of loving you. Let’s take a weekend to reconnect.”
Genuine comments like these can make all the difference in the world. Get in the habit of reassuring her of your love and reinforcing your commitment to her. There’s nothing like that feeling of security to reinforce your marriage vows and strengthen the love you share.
To show your wife how much you love her, consider these simple tips:
- Write her a love letter.
- Renew your vows to her.
- Listen intently.
- Buy a gift that represents your love for her.
Don’t let another day go by without assuring your wife that she is loved. She needs to hear it and experience it. Nothing will feel more special to her than a sincere profession of your love in action.
For more ideas on how to make your wife feel loved again, check out these posts:
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2. Make Your Wife Feel Good about Herself
There’s been a lot of talk about self-esteem in recent decades, some good and some not-so-good. The Biblical view of self-esteem is more about strengthening your faith and remembering your worth as God’s beautiful creation.
“Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.” 1 Thessalonians 5:11
“For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.” Psalm 139:13-14
In light of these truths, husbands have a divine responsibility to build their wives up and remind them of their God-given value. It’s a beautiful thing to make your wife feel good about herself—in body, mind, and spirit. Compliment her regularly. Point out her exceptional value and the ways she enhances your relationship.
Here are a few things your wife might appreciate hearing:
- “You are really talented in that area. What an amazing gift God has given you.”
- “I appreciate your strengths. God knew I needed you as my significant other.”
- “You are beautiful to me—inside and out.”
I don’t know one woman on earth who doesn’t appreciate a sincere, heartfelt compliment. And some of the best compliments come from their husbands. Wives need to hear that they are lovely, talented, and noticed.
If you struggle to make your wife feel good about herself, pray and ask God what He would have you say. Thank Him for your wife’s beautiful attributes and pray for opportunities to build her up in the faith.
Here are a couple more resources to help:
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3. Make Your Wife Feel Appreciated
There are all kinds of appreciation days that people celebrate, including the familiar Pastor Appreciation Day and the not-so-familiar National Kazoo Day (according to this modern calendar).
However, there is one appreciation day that should happen most days of the year—the make-your-wife-feel-appreciated day.
Oh, how easy it is to go through life without stopping to appreciate the people we love most! We overlook them, ignore them, and grow to expect certain things from them, all without showing how grateful we are.
Let’s change this pattern, shall we? Instead of falling into the trap of complacency, take action and show your wife how thankful you are—for her hard work, attentiveness to your family, and commitment to your marriage.
Here are a few ways husbands can make their wives feel appreciated:
- Surprise her with a day to herself.
- Point out the ways in which she enriches your life.
- Take over some of the duties that are stressful to her.
- Speak highly of her to others.
- Let her know you notice her efforts.
The more appreciated a wife feels, the more likely she is to go above and beyond to nurture your relationship. She’ll thrive in her role as your wife and actually want to keep pouring into your marriage. Sometimes, it’s the smallest tokens of appreciation that bring the greatest rewards.
Check out these posts for even more tips on appreciation:
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4. Make Your Wife Feel Secure
Security in the marriage relationship is a major factor in the health of the relationship.
A lack of security causes deep fissures that only get bigger as time goes on. Wives, in particular, need to feel safe and secure. They need to be able to trust their husbands completely, and know without a doubt that they are fully committed for life.
Here are a few ways to make your wife feel secure:
- Do what you say you’ll do.
- Be where you say you’ll be.
- Provide consistently.
- Show up on time.
- Assure her of your devotion.
- Avoid using the word “divorce,” even in jest.
- Remind her you’re in it for life.
- Make sure she knows she is the only one for you.
According to this post, “A woman will feel insecure when the man she has married is selfish and detached, when she knows she is low on his priority list. She will feel the most secure when she knows her husband is always thinking about her—and willing to sacrifice anything for her.”
Pull yourself out of your comfort zone and make extra efforts to build security in your marriage. By making your wife a priority, and sacrificing some of your wants for her needs, you’ll be assuring her that she can rely on you for anything.
Here are a few more resources to help you strengthen your wife’s security:
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5. Make Your Wife Feel Like the Most Special Person in Your Life
Everyone likes to feel extra special on occasion, and there’s no better occasion than now. Let your wife know she is the most special person in your life.
After all, she is one with you according to Ephesians 5:31: “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”
Go above and beyond to let her know she takes first place under God. Hold her in high esteem and nurture her as the precious gem that she is. Resist putting work before your relationship, and constantly giving her your leftovers.
Make her a priority, and let her know she has your focus and attention. Not only will she flourish under your attentiveness, your marriage will flourish as well.
Consider these practical tips:
- Carve out time for your wife, to just listen and encourage.
- Make your bedroom a sanctuary of relaxation and intimacy.
- Surprise her with fresh flowers and dinner out.
- Teach your children to esteem her and bless her.
- Say positive things about her to others.
- Compliment her skills and achievements.
Here are even more resources that can help:
Remember, it’s okay to admit you need a little help when it comes to nurturing your marriage. We all need to be reminded of our spouse’s contributions at times.
Through small, consistent efforts, your wife can feel special once again, and your marriage can rise to the next level of strength and security under God’s blessing.
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