Embracing Singleness, Ep 4 of 5

Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth: In 2002, Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth spoke to a group of single women about God's incredible calling on their life. She told them about a young woman she met who was called to missions. I met her just before she went to the mission field. She's a gal in her late 20s. She's a nurse, has medical training, and she's using that skill in a restricted access country to serve the Lord and to share the gospel with people. She told me that she had sensed when she was a college student, I believe it was, that the Lord was perhaps calling her to be a missionary. But she had such a longing to be married that she kind of pushed back in her mind, in her heart that call to the mission field and was waiting for marriage, thinking maybe then she could serve the Lord. Well, she came across that little booklet I had written on singleness, where I just tell some of my own pilgrimage on learning to walk and serve the Lord as a single woman. She said God used that little booklet to challenge her not to wait for marriage, to do what God was calling her to do, to get up and get ready and go to the mission field. And if marriage is God's plan for her, which for most it is, then in God's time she knew God would bring that husband. But in the meantime, she decided, "I'm not going to wait to serve the Lord." Now sitting in that country in Asia, can't even say the name of the country. But she is so joyous, so filled with a sense of purpose and mission. She probably won't be single all her life. She may be. But she's not focusing on that. She's just focusing on God's calling today, right now, serving the Lord as a single woman.
Dana Grish: We'll hear more of Shannon's story in just a moment. And we'll listen to biblical teaching for those called to singleness. This is the Revive Our Hearts podcast with Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth, co-author of You Can Trust God to Write Your Story. For August 6th, 2026, I'm Dana Grish.
Dana Grish: We're back for another day of our series, Embracing Singleness. When we got started, maybe the idea that your marital status is a gift made you squirm in your seat a little bit. Singleness, a gift? Well, it's true. And I hope you're beginning to see the sweetness of God's heart toward his single daughters. He's got goodness for you here. In fact, I love the way Nancy has testified to this over the years. She released this teaching in 2002. She married Robert Wolgemuth in 2015, and then he went home to be with the Lord in 2026. Let's listen to some more wisdom from Nancy.
Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth: Some time ago, I got a letter from a gal who was a senior in college. She had just read a little booklet I've written called Singled Out for Him, and she had listened to some tapes of some other radio broadcast that I had done on this subject. After she listened to those tapes, she wrote me, and she said, "Nancy, I feel so free. I now understand that singleness and marriage are both gifts from God. I am currently single," she said, "and I'm watching my friends get engaged and married. I used to think, 'When will my prince come riding on a white horse and sweep me off my feet?' He has." She's talking about her relationship with the Lord Jesus. She said, "I feel so privileged to be single, privileged to be betrothed to the King of kings without distraction. I thank God, it is so freeing to embrace my singleness. Not only to accept it, but to rejoice in it." Do you know if there's something I desire for those of us who are in this room who are single? It's first that we would accept the gift of singleness. But then it's that we would come to rejoice in that gift for as long as God gives it. Let me say, by the way, if you're married, my prayer for you would be that you would come to not only accept the person that God has you married to in this season of married life, but that you would come to rejoice in that season of life. We've been looking at 1 Corinthians chapter 7 over the past several sessions, and we're looking at some benefits and blessings that Paul says those who are single can experience. I think it's important to focus on these because we tend to focus on the things that are hard about singleness. There are things that are hard about singleness. There are things that are hard about marriage. There are things that are hard about having children. There are things that are hard about not having children, and things that are hard about being young, and things that are hard about being old, and things that are hard about living in the North, and things that are hard about living in the South. Life is hard. But Paul says, "Don't focus on what's hard; focus on the blessings and the benefits." So he begins in verse 32 of 1 Corinthians chapter 7, and he says that if you are single, you have a freedom to worship and serve the Lord in a different way than you could if you were married. Now, it's not that people who are married can't worship and serve the Lord, they can. But he said, the way that you can serve the Lord is different if you are single than if you are married. Let's read the passage and then talk about it. First Corinthians 7, beginning in verse 32. Paul says, "I would like for you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord's affairs, how he can please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world, how he can please his wife, and his interests are divided." By the way, a married man should have divided interests. He should be concerned about how he can please his wife. That's right. That's appropriate. Then he talks about women. He says, "An unmarried woman or a virgin is concerned about the Lord's affairs. She has a single focus," or she should. "Her aim," he says, "is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit, physically and spiritually, totally 100% devoted to the Lord." But he says, "A married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world, how she can please her husband." And she should be. Once you get married, you will have divided affection. That doesn't mean you can't love both the Lord and your husband, but it means you cannot love the Lord in the same way that you were able to when you were single. Because there is a need to focus both on the earthly things as well as on the spiritual. And Paul says, "If you're single, you can serve and worship God with undivided attention." He goes on to say in verse 35, "I'm saying this for your own good, not to restrict you." That word has to do with something like putting a noose around your neck. "I'm not trying to put you in bondage," he's saying. He's saying, "This is for your good. This is so you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord." Another translation says, "So that you may serve the Lord without distraction." Paul says, "This is a blessing and a benefit of being single." I've been conscious of this since the time I was probably a little girl, certainly since the time I was a young woman, that there was a privilege I have had as a single woman to serve the Lord with undistracted devotion. To serve him without distraction. I was able to be up studying this morning at 1:20 in the morning for this series. I was able to arrange my schedule and rearrange my schedule without having to try and figure out how to work around someone else's schedule. There's greater flexibility of my schedule to do the things that God has called me to do, to serve him, to worship him. I can sing to the Lord anytime, anyplace, and no one's in my house listening. I don't have to work my schedule and my worship and my service around the schedule of someone else. Now, if you're married, it's not bad to have to do that. And remember Paul says in this passage, "If you marry, you haven't sinned." It's not more spiritual to be single. It's not more spiritual to be married. It's more spiritual to do what God has called you to do. And what God has called you to do right now is be single if you are single, and to serve him with undistracted devotion. This passage says to me that singleness provides a unique opportunity to pursue Christ with all my heart, with all my life, to give wholehearted, undistracted devotion to the Lord. Paul's talking about purposeful singleness here. Not just a time in waiting, a time in limbo until the right person comes along, but having a positive purpose in life, giving, loving, serving, sacrificing. Living intentionally, living purposefully as a single. I got an email from a 24-year-old single woman who had heard me speak on the radio on this subject on another series of broadcasts. And she said, "I've been discouraged with my singleness, yearning to find my Mr. Right and to be married. Your insights have opened my eyes and helped me see how I can be using my singleness to be a witness for God. I now realize that by being single, I am not being punished, but instead I'm being blessed by having time to spend on God's work, to grow in him and to bless others with his love. I see now," she said, "that I've been selfish, wanting only what the world tells me I need to be happy and fulfilled, a husband and a family. I'm now working on spending my time to love others and to serve them as Christ would. It's tough to give myself over completely to him when I still yearn to be married, but I'm praying continually that he will help me to become the person he desires me to be while I am still single and that I don't have the responsibilities that I would have if I were married. Please pray," she said, "that I will be able to humble myself to live for Christ and to serve him through my singleness." And I think of so many single women that I've read about and known myself over the years, who have used their singleness as an opportunity to serve the Lord in a way that a married person could not. You've heard perhaps the story of Amy Carmichael, who chose a life of celibacy to serve God in India for 50 some years. She became a mother to many children in that country who otherwise would have become temple prostitutes. She laid down her life. She lived a purposeful life as a single, serving and loving the Lord. And today, we are still being blessed and encouraged by her writings and her testimony, her story. I think of some of the single women that I serve with, Monica, and Sandra, and Joanna, single women in their 20s, their 30s, and into their 40s, who some of them would have deep in their heart, as most single women do, a desire for marriage and for children. And if God gives that to them, they will embrace that as God's gift. You see, singleness is a call. It's an assignment. It's a mission. It's a call to serve God with all my time, all my abilities, and all my energy. Now, God may call you to serve him out in the marketplace, where you work as a nurse or as in administration or in some particular field where you've had training in the secular marketplace, that may be where God calls you to serve him. But I want to say that God is probably calling some of you as single women to consider serving him vocationally. And I think of some women that I've met over the years who had promising careers, lucrative careers, secure jobs, who at some point sensed that God wanted something more for them, that God wanted them to serve him vocationally. And the point came when they said, "Yes, Lord. You've given me this gift of singleness, and I want to use this opportunity and this season of my life to serve you, maybe using those skills that I've gotten through my education and my experience, but using those skills in a ministry context." Let me tell you, there is work to do for the gospel of Christ and the kingdom of Christ in this city, in your church, in this community, all throughout this country and around the world, there are ministries that desperately need women who have time to devote to the kingdom of Christ. And I just wonder if maybe some of you in this room are among those women. Whether you're out in the secular marketplace or in a vocational ministry, let me say, it's still God's purpose as a single woman that you should devote your life, your whole heart, your time, your energy, your efforts to serving the Lord. Singleness is not a time to be footloose and fancy-free. It's a time to serve the Lord with undistracted devotion. Lord, thank you for each of the women in this place, and I don't know who you may be calling out in a particular way. But I know that your word is said that all of us are to serve you with undistracted devotion through that period of time that we're single, to attend to you and your work in a way that we couldn't do if we were married. Lord, I pray that you'll give us that heart, and I pray for that woman, one or two or three or more in this room, that you may be calling out to a life of vocational Christian service. Would you just continue to speak to that heart and to use your word and your Spirit to direct and to lead, and to show your path, and show that woman or those women how they can make the most of the opportunities that you are giving them during this season of singleness. Thank you, Lord, for letting us serve you, for calling us and giving us that assignment, that mission, and for making our singleness purposeful. I pray in Jesus' name, with thanksgiving. Amen.
Dana Grish: What a great challenge Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth has given all of us today. Spiritual service is for everyone. The single Christian just has a special capacity for undivided devotion to the Lord. Nancy just told us about a young woman who was called to missions while single. Well, that woman's name is Shannon. And when she accepted this call overseas, she knew it would cost her. Nancy actually sat down with Shannon to talk about that. Here's what she said about that season of surrender.
Shannon: There are a number of things that the Lord used in this time. And actually, one of them was you and a broadcast that you had done on Family Life Today that I heard during these graduate school years when I was wrestling with the Lord over these issues. And you had done a series talking about singleness. And at that particular time when I heard the broadcast, that was the issue that I was struggling with. Lord, I'm having a hard enough time getting a date here in the United States. What am I going to do when I'm overseas? And just thinking, you know, if you say yes to this, this may be saying yes to a lifetime of singleness. That was fearful for me to consider. But the broadcast that you did, it was all part of God transforming my perspective on what my life is about in the first place. And you talked about how a life of singleness is really a life that can be presented fully to the Lord in abandonment, in sacrifice, in ministry to others. And how fulfilling that life is. It's not that, well, Lord, I'm missing this major piece. No, I am full because I am living right in the center of what you have created me to do, at least in this time in life as a single woman. And I can give my life to others in ministry and service for God's kingdom. You know, I just want to say here, the marriage and the children and the home, all of those things are wonderful blessings that the Lord gives to some. But my difficulty had come in that I was those had become the idol. They were the pursuit. They were the goal of life. And that's where I had gotten into trouble. And so the Lord had to teach me, "No, Shannon, you don't exist for yourself." And really, all of these things, although they are wonderful blessings for me, they aren't life. "I am life." And you living in my will and in ministry, that is going to be the most fulfilling, abundant life that you can have.
Dana Grish: A few years later, Nancy had the joy of talking with that young woman again.
Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth: Shannon, that's what you shared with our listeners two and a half years ago when we talked on Revive Our Hearts. So you were 26 years old, you were leaving for the field, and as far as you knew, you were relinquishing the possibility of ever being married. Is that what you were thinking at the time?
Shannon: That's right. Because my thought at that time was, you know, Lord, I'm 26 years old and I believe that you've called me for a lifetime of service on an overseas field. Lord, I'm willing to do that. I'm willing to live a life of singleness if that's what you call me to. That is not my desire. I would like to be married, but you know what's best for me. And this is the time in life that you've chosen to take me out. You've chosen to take me out single. Perhaps there won't be anyone there that will be a potential marriage partner and I'm willing to accept that.
Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth: And as you accepted that and went, did that mean that God took away the desire for marriage?
Shannon: I wish I could say that. No, no. The desire for marriage did not diminish at all. I still had the desire. But Nancy, the difference by this time was that that was not the idol anymore. That wasn't the pursuit and the goal of my life anymore. And it was more of, Lord, I know that marriage is a wonderful blessing that you give to many. And in fact, it's the norm for most people that you have created. And I would love to enjoy that blessing if that would ever be your desire for me. But I leave that in your hands. And so the desire never faded or went away completely. But it became a quiet place in my heart that I just lifted up and committed to the Lord in prayer. Lord, would you provide a godly husband for me if that's your will? But it wasn't something that was always on my mind. It wasn't something that I was pursuing or seeking after or looking at every guy that I would see out there.
Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth: So you weren't pining away.
Shannon: No, no. And that's just by the grace of God. That's what he is able to do in a heart when he gets hold of us. And through the power of the Spirit, just enables us to trust him that you know, I am the sovereign God. I control every single detail in this universe. You can trust me with this detail in your life. And by his Spirit, we can actually come to not just the acknowledgement of that, but really the full realization in our lives that we feel that yes, I can trust you because you are trustworthy. It is your nature. It is your character to do what is best and good for me.
Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth: And I sensed as we exchanged emails periodically over those couple of years that God was really filling your cup in other ways.
Shannon: Absolutely, in so many ways. Number one, I mean, I would say in general, just being within the will of God is the most fulfilling and abundant life that we could ever have. And I always think of Psalm 16. It says, you will make known to me the path of life. In your presence is fullness of joy, and in your right hand there are pleasures forevermore. And that's my testimony that with the Lord when we're in his will, there is no, we're not missing out on things. And it's not dull. It is so abundant. So I was experiencing just the joy of being in the center of his will, being in this new culture, learning language. I was experiencing the joy of ministry, which was just such a fulfillment of my heart to be able to learn enough of the language that I could begin to share what was so much a burden of my heart, which was the gospel, and to name the name of Christ before people who had never heard of him, and to tell them what he had done for them. And so that was, that was fullness for me. Also, just the relationships in women that he brought into my life. So I just, I wasn't a half person, I wasn't missing out on anything. He, for that time in my life, totally filled my cup.
Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth: And in the midst of your doing what God had called you to do, seeking him with all your heart, God brought across your path a very special young man and began to cultivate a relationship there. I think our listeners would love to hear a little bit about that story.
Shannon: I'd be happy to share that. This is really one of those God stories where we just get to boast in the Lord. So I would love to do that. During my first term, in addition to learning language, I also had the opportunity to work in various mission hospitals. And it just so happened that I began work in one mission hospital. As I was working in this mission hospital, I had the opportunity to meet a national doctor who was also working there. And really what first attracted my attention to him was the way that I heard the other missionaries in the hospital speak of him. I knew just a bit about his testimony at that time that up until his medical school days, he did not know the Lord. And then while he was in medical school, he had a Muslim friend who had become a believer who then led him to the Lord. So I had heard that, but what I also heard was how the missionaries were speaking of him that his life was so committed to the Lord, that he had left everything, a very prestigious career that he could have had in a big city where he was from, and he had said yes to the Lord's call in his life for missions in this part of the country. And that he was committed to that service for a lifetime. I also just began to watch him. And the life of Christ really showed through him as he cared for patients, just how gentle he was, how he took time with them. Not only that, but the gospel was always on his lips. I just I saw how he with every patient that he could would pray or would tell them about the Lord Jesus Christ. And so my curiosity, I guess, was piqued at this point.
Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth: Now what our listeners can't see, Shannon, is what I'm looking at right now. That is, one, there's a huge smile on your face. And sitting across the table for me, you are holding hands with this man who just a little over a week ago became your husband.
Dana Grish: That's Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth with her friend Shannon. What a sweet and encouraging story. Nancy will be back to pray. You know, I think sometimes we feel like surrendering our desires means giving up hope, but Shannon's story shows us that's not true. She continued to desire marriage on the mission field. It's just that marriage wasn't ultimate to her anymore. God's glory was. Maybe this is the key. Viewing God's glory as our greatest good and letting every earthly gift fall in line behind it. Also, notice how God didn't forget Shannon's longing for a godly husband. He always cared, and he always intended to provide in his time. He cares deeply about the desires of your heart too, my dear single friend. You can entrust your story to him. He writes really, really good ones. You can hear more about Shannon's story at a link in today's transcript. That's also where you'll find Nancy's booklet, Singled Out for Him, a super helpful resource for those seeking a hope-filled, eternal perspective on singleness. To read the transcript, just visit ReviveOurHearts.com and select today's episode. We'd also love to offer you a beautiful new resource, the Finding Beauty in Every Season photobook. It features photography from our Revive Our Hearts staff members and 30 days of encouragement from Nancy. And let me tell you, right now, I'm looking at a few of those beautiful photographs from this book. Sunflowers in the Badlands, waterfalls with rainbows. It is truly magnificent. In fact, it stirs my heart to marvel at the majesty of God. And I hope you'll make a donation of any amount this month so we can send a copy your way. To do that, visit ReviveOurHearts.com or call us at 1-800-569-5959. Be sure to request your photobook when you do. Tomorrow, Nancy looks at the foundation for everything we've been learning this week about singleness. We hope you can be here. And now, here's Nancy to close us in prayer.
Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth: You see, singleness is a call. It's an assignment. It's a mission. It's a call to serve God with all my time, all my abilities, and all my energy.
Dana Grish: This program is a listener supported production of Revive Our Hearts in Niles, Michigan, calling women to freedom, fullness, and fruitfulness in Christ.