The Importance of Being a Good Friend - iBelieve Truth: A Devotional for Women - June 4, 2026

Audio By Carbonatix

“Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility consider one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others” (Philippians 2:3-4, NASB). 

Since I was a young girl, I have struggled to maintain consistent, strong relationships with other girlfriends. I was far from being part of the popular crowd, but one thing was for sure: I gave all my energy to making sure everyone liked me. I tried my best to fit into almost every group: the athletes, the band nerds, the theater troupe, the art club, the math club, and the cheerleaders, but what I always longed for was to have a best friend. I would grow close to someone, but over time, the friendship would unravel or fade away for different reasons- friends for a season. This pain of rejection and grieving the loss of friendships over the years has followed me well into adulthood, especially once I became a Christ follower. Christ makes it clear in the scriptures that we must love Him more than anyone or anything, even our own lives. We must lay it all down to follow Him at all costs, but He promises life abundantly to those who sacrifice all to pursue Him and His ways. We are to imitate Jesus in all areas of our lives; His way regarding relationships is one of selflessness and putting others first. 

Instead of getting consumed with the grief and frustration of why cultivating relationships with other women has been so difficult for me, keeping my eyes focused on myself and my desire to have a close friend with a woman, I need to look to the scriptures for a perspective shift. Paul brings some clarity to the Philippians regarding relationships that reflect Christ to the world:

"Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility consider one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others" (Philippians 2:3-4, NASB). 

Instead of wallowing in self-pity about why no one seems to understand us (a lie I used to believe whenever I faced rejection), we need to get our eyes off ourselves and begin asking how we can be a good friend to someone else. The enemy wants you either in pride, thinking you are better off doing life your own way, or in isolation, bound in a pit of depression, unable to receive love or give out love, feeling like no one loves you or cares about you. Instead of looking to someone else to fill our "love tank" and meet our relational and emotional needs, we need to humble ourselves and seek opportunities to serve others with Christlike love, without expecting anything in return. 

This requires intentionality and alertness to others' interests. When you meet someone new, do you spend more time talking about yourself or asking more questions and listening? Being a good friend means being concerned with your friend's well-being more than your own problems. This isn't something that comes naturally, but it is a supernatural work of God in your heart. The more you lean into God's grace, the more you will see growth and maturity in your heart and life, and be able to love others as He does. God will sanctify us because He wants to see us conformed to the image of Christ. One way this occurs in our lives is through studying the scriptures and other spiritual disciplines such as prayer, serving others, and consistent discipleship and evangelism. The more we study the Bible and exercise spiritual discipline, the more the Holy Spirit renews our minds. This renewal of the mind helps us think on Christ's ways rather than our own. Our behavior and attitude begin to change, and God gives us a desire to love, obey, and serve Him with fervor, loving Him and others with our whole hearts. May we be strengthened by God's grace to walk Christlike in our friendships!

Heavenly Father,

I need Your help to love others as You do; My pride often gets in the way, and I miss opportunities to be selfless because my own unmet needs consume me. Help me to be humble and consider others more highly than myself. I also don't want to look to others to know that I am accepted in the beloved as Your own. When I experience rejection, I know that You love me. Instead of allowing myself to grow bitter or cynical, help me to be hopeful and have eyes to see new opportunities to be a good friend to someone who may need it much more than I do. Thank You for working in my heart and giving me the grace to love selflessly and sacrificially. In Jesus' name, amen.

Photo credit: Odua Images via Canva Pro

Emily Massey began writing short stories and poetry as a little girl, entered the blogging world in her early 20s, and published her first book in 2015. She enjoys being a homeschooling momma of four boys, while still being able to pursue her passion as a writer. Believing she has been forgiven much, she loves much, and desires to point others to Christ and His redemptive and transforming power, especially by sharing truth found in God’s written word. If you would like to connect with Emily, you can visit www.emilyrosemassey.com.

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If you've been feeling tired, overwhelmed, depleted, or just quietly wondering where God is in the middle of a very full life — this episode is for you. And honestly? It might be for me too, because I'm recording this in one of those seasons myself.

Today we're doing something a little different. Instead of going deep in a passage, we're talking about what to do when deep feels like too much — when you need less, not more. Specifically, I'm walking you through one of my favorite practices for weary seasons: handwriting scripture.

Not typing it. Not scrolling past it. Actually writing it out, slowly, in your own hand — because something happens in your brain when you do that. The words land differently. They go deeper. And over time, they become part of that personal library of God's voice that the Holy Spirit can pull from when you need it most. That's what Psalm 119:11 means when it says I have hidden your word in my heart — it's scripture moving into your long-term memory, where it lives and stays even when you haven't opened your Bible in weeks.

I'm sharing the five verses I wrote out for myself today — and why each one hit me fresh even though I've known some of them for years. This episode is part of our How to Study the Bible Podcast, a show that brings life back to reading the Bible and helps you understand even the hardest parts of Scripture. If this episode helps you know and love God more, be sure to follow the How to Study the Bible Podcast on Apple or Spotify so you never miss an episode!